Burning Desire: "Safe Meetings"

I feel that meetings should be a safe place and free of judgements & criticism's...

Right?


Not so much the case around these parts lately.

Let me start by saying, I come from a very, very small town. A small town that is surrounded by small towns, and what I thought would be an advantage, I quickly learned that it was just the opposite.


At meetings in other parts of the world, the people you encounter at meetings~you meet them sober (most of the time). Very rarely do you meet them while they were using, so you have no idea what that person was like before.

That isn't how it works out here.

Many of us have known each other for 10, 20 even 40 years. And unfortunately it seems like some people think that because they have some recovery time under their belt, they are better in some way or another. There has been a lot of talk and snickering at the meetings lately and it is just really starting to piss me off.

It has pissed me off so much that I have started switching up my meetings and trying new ones. In some ways I just don't think that these people are capable of letting the "old" you along with their options die in this "everybody knows everybody" town.

(I talked to my counselor about it last week, and he said he had heard the same thing from other people so I know I'm not crazy (well, maybe just a little!))

Now at the risk of sounding judgemental and critical myself, I must say this:

What they all seem to forget was~I was the bartender serving them drinks ("way back") in their using days and I have seen damn near everyone of them at their worst. I've let the "old them" die along with my opinions, why can't they do the same with everyone else?

In the last few weeks I have seen "ol' timers" corner (and I mean CORNER) someone and question their sobriety, I have seen girls snicker and and talk while one particular girl was sharing~several times, I've heard someone start a rumour about someone else in the program, and then turn around and do the same damn thing to me.

I promise, there will be more to come on this topic.

I hope you all had a happy and safe holiday weekend!